“My desk is so messy,” I said out loud. “It’s okay. No one’s gonna nag about it,” my husband said.
But he’s wrong. Someone will. And that someone’s me.
A while ago, I listened to Dr. Vikki Wright of The PhD Life Coach talk about being a responsible parent to ourselves. And as a PhD student responsible for managing my own daily schedule, I should learn when to allow myself to rest, and when to nudge myself back to work. Being married with no kids puts me in two roles at once: I am both the child and the parent. There is no one else setting the rhythm of my days and so I have to. Unlike when I was growing up, I always have these daily to-dos I have to finish before my mother arrives home from work.
And like every good parent, I must remember to speak kindly to myself. Instead of being my own harshest critic, I should learn to be a listener and an encourager, just as my mother was during the lowest point in my previous graduate studies. That is the standard I would like to hold on to, come hell or high water.
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