It feels like a gnawing from under my skin, pushing my brain to go wild. I just want to pull my skin off from my flesh to make that sick feeling go away, to let pain rule instead.
Pain feels better, like meeting an expectation. At least it’s concrete. But waiting and not knowing for how long? The unknown is disturbing, making my insides furious and scream while I gnash my teeth—appearing peaceful outwardly, as if nothing is wrong.
I feel like I can’t wait any longer. To exist in that limbo, to not feel anything while the waiting happens, is just terrible. The uneasiness is eating away at my sanity, bouncing around my skull. I thought screaming inside the car would help, but nothing seems to relieve this invisible pain.
Waiting felt like torture.
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