Writing here daily, at least that’s what I intended since I started this blog, requires a conscious decision to be here every day. To type in the words I would have instead kept in my head, pile up, and become waste the next day.
Writing here daily can get mundane and boring, at least when I am still trying to think about what to write and what my first word should be.
Until I overcome the inertia after writing a paragraph or two, and the words seem to flow after another. This part became easier to write and I feel like adding another line.
So here we are, you and I, exchanging ideas; you read about the things I feel like writing about while my internal voice talks loudly in this monologue.
And now I am having fun, as the voice in my head keeps yapping about overcoming inertia and building momentum.
I used to write poems and publish them on my blog (which you can find some snaps in the Wayback Machine). I was animated by muse, and when nothing inspires me to write, I do nothing. I stopped blogging altogether during the board exam because my logical brain had taken over my creative self, putting all my resources to focus on passing the licensure. And I was unable to pick up from where I left off.
Then, social media became the lesser alternative. But it never satiated the kind of creative work I longed for. However, since the enrolment was easier, and in a way addictive, I was captivated by it and then was disappointed by it. I think that was the time when I started to have an on-and-off disdain towards the performative self, which I never even had a word before. Just a general sense about how I was living a double life, curated vs reality, which only resulted to dissatisfaction and loneliness.
I tried blogging again while I was working on my master’s thesis because my creative juices were overflowing, making me want to take a break from the technical stuff I write. I started with essays, which initially stimulated the part of my brain that craves creative writing, until it eventually felt like work, especially when academic deadlines took priority. And so again, I was unable to pick up from where I left off.
And then, the pandemic allowed me to return to old hobbies I had traded for paid work, so I decided to start blogging again, but this time more intentionally. I was already reading Seth Godin at that time, and was proselytized about blogging daily, and so I started this blog with that in mind.
But many times I have failed. And the inertia always feels stronger after a break.
Yet, persistence calls me. And so I am here again today.
That’s what I am really here for: building momentum.
Thanks, Joan, for reminding me.
Break a streak, and you don’t just lose a day – you lose the force of the days behind it. The YouTube creator who disappears for two weeks doesn’t come back to the same algorithm. The runner who skips three months doesn’t return to the same baseline. Restarting costs more than maintaining – entropy compounds too.
from The Compound Effect of Consistency by Joan Westenberg
jessa 