Late-night musings #33

I keep thinking about how love is based on the freedom of choice.

Like when we love someone, we give them the space to act like adults, knowing the difference between what is right and wrong.

But in this space where the person we love has the room to think and assess what wisdom to follow, we allow them to face the consequences of their actions. And should they have chosen the bad road, we open our arms for them when they go back for a fresh start.

And that’s forgiveness.

But not everyone who claims to love us understands this.

However, some people would say they love you, but don’t give you the space to think and distinguish right from wrong. Instead, they control you and manipulate you to do things they think are best for you.

But is it really love? Do they really love us when they do not give us the freedom of choice?

And if we choose the thing they don’t like or disapprove of, they’ll act as if we’ve become their enemy, keeping our common friends and close allies from maintaining relationships with us. They make us the bad guys just because we exercised our freedom of choice.

The Parable of the Prodigal Son showed that love is based on the freedom of choice, as the father allowed the younger son to experience the consequences of his actions. The father didn’t chase him down or guilt him into staying. He watched him leave, and he waited. And when the son finally turned back—willing to return as a servant, no longer expecting to be called a son—the father didn’t walk toward him. He ran. The father never looked the other way. Instead, the father welcomes him back, his son who has been dead has begun to live.

To live must mean choosing the right over the wrong thing.

As humans, we may choose the wrong thing—and we may sink into its depths or come into our senses and go back to doing what is right.

But some people, who claim to operate in love, don’t want us to freely choose. Instead, they want to guilt us into doing what they think is right for themselves and the people around them. Fall out of their favor, and they’d be the first to talk bad about you, spreading lies to people to create the impression that they have always been right, and our free will is a curse.

I don’t think that’s love. That’s just control.