“Self-made.” What a deceitful way to say that we have arrived where we are by ourselves, without receiving any form or kind of help.
I used to believe I earned everything I had.
But looking back to where I really started, utterly dependent on my mother for nearly everything, I can see it now: every achievement I’d claimed as ‘mine’ had her handwriting in the margins. Not just hers. The teacher whose words I still carry. The friend. The stranger on the bus. The ones I’ll never know I needed.
Reflecting on the lessons I have learned from people—through direct relationships or indirect associations via books, films, conversations overheard—I can say this with confidence: every interaction has shaped who I am today. With or without their awareness. With or without my own.
We are a collection of many things and experiences. And our successes are not only our own.
Sure, our choices lead us to places and opportunities. But people help us find ourselves, even the self we can only dream of becoming.
I kept thinking about this after watching The Queen’s Gambit—how Elizabeth Harmon became world champion not only because of her prodigious talent, but because of the people around her. The janitor who saw her potential. The people who made space for her exceptional talent to grow. The friend who refused to let her self-destruct. The competitors who became her allies. Even she, a chess prodigy, needed others to become who she could only dream of being.
What if we measured success not by what we accomplished alone, but by how many hands steadied us along the way? What if we become the people who lift others? Help them have a fighting chance, not just at success but also at becoming who they dream of being?
jessa 