What I learned to part ways with after seeking and engaging in creative activities is the idea that “messaging somebody entitles us to receive immediate response” because we are no longer high schoolers messaging one another, tethered to our phones all day long.
I have trained myself for years (since I got ahold of a mobile phone) that receiving an immediate response means that the other person cares for me for them to give me that much attention and time. In return, I wanted to return the same favor by responding immediately to send them a signal that I care too.
But you know what? I realized that if we care for others, we don’t have to oblige them to respond immediately just because we say so. Being connected to the internet doesn’t mean we live 24/7 in the digital space and therefore others should always be available whenever we need them.
I think the idea of “you should respond to me immediately” is so immature because that’s what I believed in in high school. “If you really care, respond now,” and feel bad if people don’t react immediately. Some people seem to forget that others have commitments in the physical world that limit them from simultaneously spending time in the digital space.
A delayed response does not diminish care.
I guess I have grown up now.
So many things have changed since I was 25. I started to part ways from the discomfort of not responding immediately to messages (and emails) unless they were time-sensitive.
Now that I am 30, the habit seems to stick. I don’t feel bad at all about not responding immediately to whatever stimulus thrown my way.
I get you. We all have a life to live.
Is this a way of decluttering how we relate with people and our devices?
These days, I consider the ability to retreat from my devices a form of freedom because, most days, I feel like a slave to them. I can’t eat my meals without a video playing, I can’t sit still without reaching for my phone (I just want to see what’s up), and I can’t finish a to-do list without being sidetracked by notifications.
But perhaps I am getting there toward freedom from this digital connection addiction, starting by responding a little later to a barrage of notifications that scream for my attention.
jessa 