Hi! 👋 I’m Jessa.

I blog daily about life, work, and the future.

Angry? Should you vent out?

Written in


We’ve been taught that venting out is good, that it’s essential to let it out every once in a while. Because what happens when we don’t?

We might explode.

But should we vent out every time we feel like it because we’re angry?

From Stop Venting! It Doesn’t Work.:

The results consistently find that those who vent do not show lower subsequent levels of aggression; in fact, their scores for anger and aggression end up slightly higher after venting.

Now what? Venting makes it worse?

Actually, no. Losing self-control does.

As a follower of Jesus, the Word of the Lord reminds us about how important it is not to lose our self-control.

Like a city that is broken down and without walls [leaving it unprotected]
Is a man who has no self-control over his spirit [and sets himself up for trouble].

Proverbs 25:28 AMP

And you know what? Science is catching on.

From Stop Venting! It Doesn’t Work.:

Exercising restraint is hard. Protecting other people from the full brunt of our frustration—which is almost always driven by underlying fear, insecurities, and anxiety—takes work. We want to give in to the urge to wallow, to do damage, to invite company into our misery. We also can feel closer to others when we expose them to our raw emotion, and if there’s one reliable truth about human psychology, it’s that we desire connection so much that we’ll take it in negative forms when we can’t get positive ones. But venting often doesn’t work to enhance intimacy; it can even isolate us further, whether we’re talking about getting a bad rep among our colleagues for being a negative Nancy, undermining our partner’s sense of trust and safety, or having people in our social circles associate us with stress.